This morning I feel like writing.
Maybe I should save you all some trouble and just pick up my (hot pink!) journal.
Nope, I think it's okay to shout this on the blog-tops.
This move... it's been all sorts of ups and downs.
At our wedding breakfast, my dad said (among other real nice things), "Christine is like a rollercoaster -- she's either really high, and happy and excited, or she's low". Although, I don't think I'm bi-polar (I don't think he thinks that I am either), I feel like that is an accurate way to describe our big adventure here in New Jersey.
Sometimes I feel lonely, and useless... frustrated at employers for not giving me a chance, disturbed by the language I have to hear at work, lonely that there aren't more people that share my interests, and scared that we are so far from home.
Then other times I am so happy! I'm here with my babe! Paul has really been my best friend at a whole new level. I love him so much. Even when he cons me into driving him to school everyday, he makes life better by making me smile, smooching me sweetly, and singing me songs. It doesn't get better than him. I really don't think it does.
This rollercoaster ride has come with tears, laughs and fears. Tears now because I just feel so full of love for that guy. Laughs because I'm sitting in this cinderblock apartment crying. But no fears.. right now... right now I'm feeling really confident that we are happy here.
I thought this would be a really hard week for me. It's Lake Powell week. My family is there in my own little Utah version of heaven. But, I'm doing good. I know that this is my place for now. I'm here quizzing my PB on the morphological features of odonata and whatchamacala, can it get any better?
Today, New Jersey is feeling like home. Thanks P.
8 comments:
I love this, Christine. It's so real. I think I'm the same way sometimes - having high-highs and low-lows... but that's life, I guess, and I think there's no better way than to live it passionately. I'm glad you're feeling at home today. :)
Christine! I feel like i should call you- I have been feeling the same way here in Portland! You said it perfectly. It is so different moving (especially from happy little BYU!) and suddenly not really trusting your neighbors, trying to get used to a new place that feels so weird... yeah. I know exactly what you are talking about! In time I'm sure it will feel more like home though. :) good luck! You're awesome!
I want to know why Paul isn't riding his bike to school. Christine you can't give him an easy out. I miss you guys.
Yup, you're lucky :)
(says his proud big sister)
i love you two together. thank you for this picture. <3
Powell was nice, but just not the same without you guys. Just know that you're missed here too. Keep up the confidence and smiles. :)
Christine, I understand how hard it is to move away from home. We lived in Ohio and then NY. It is WAY hard, but you are so RIGHT you learn to lean on each other in a way that I think people often take for granted when they don't live away from home. Think of it as a big adventure! Seriously, take advantage of being in a whole new place and seeing new things! There is so much history in that area. Hang in there, it gets easier!
Oh, good. I'm happy that you have each other. It makes me feel good that you love Paul so much. I love it. It's bittersweet, moving away from home - but your relationship will grow. Loves from South Jordan!
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